flashes of the past
by silvermonkey
Summary: Shunsui is locked in his memories unable to forget his best friend and move on but after searching in the human world he discovers an tiny glimer of hope. one shot


**Flashes of the past**

_Disclaimer: do not own, all belongs to Tite Kubo but the café girl is mine. _

He saw his friend fall in slow motion. One moment Jushiro was standing the next he was falling in a shower of crimson.

His heart stopped and it took all that he was to continue the fight and not rush to his friend's side.

He closed his eyes and opened them to find himself back in the park in the human world. The orange red leaves were falling from the spindly trees like tears.

He tilted his head back and stared at the grey sky trying to ignore the painful hole of loneliness that gnawed away at his insides. He blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Slowly he rose to his feet and desolately wandered the streets.

The clouds finally unleashed their load and drenched the whole town. Shunsui was oblivious to it. He felt numb, trapped in an endless mirage of memories, the infectious laughter that rang through the halls of the academy, the cheerful determination and the strong sense of justice.

He shook his head in an attempt to force the painful reminders from his mind. His heart jumped with hope every time he thought that he caught a glimpse of white hair only for the tiny spark to be squashed because it never was.

He mindlessly followed the stream of people hurrying to get out of the rain. He couldn't focus on the present when he was living in the past.

He could remember the fateful conversation they had shared on top of the roof tops in the seireitei as they watched the fireworks showering the sky in colour over head.

"_You know one day I'm not going to make it," the white haired captain said sadly._

"Don't talk nonsense," Shunsui had scoffed.

"_I'm being serious," Jushiro berated him._

_Shunsui ruffled his friend's hair, "Your gonna live to be old and wrinkly," he said with a grin._

"_But I am old," Jushiro protested._

"_Not that old," Shunsui agreed, "but go dieing on me any time soon, mmm."_

_Jushiro smiled softly, "I'll try."_

The memory joined the others ricocheting around his head.

"Hey watch were your going," a loud shout penetrated his miserable thoughts.

Shunsui trailed along the sodden pavement his damp hair hanging in his face. He turned off the main street and wandered absentmindedly down the small side street.

He stopped at a run down, paint peeling café. The bell jangled harshly and a small skinny teen offered him a watery smile.

"Tea please," he told her mildly.

The teen smiled at him again and bustled off. She had glasses and reminded him of his vice-captain.

The tea was just as watery as the girl's smile but it was warm and in the end that's what mattered. He dropped the coins on the counter and left.

The rain was abating now and a pale sun was struggling to break through the clouds. Shunsui wrapped his hands around the polystyrene cup and meandered along gazing up at the sky.

Memories swirled around his head, crashing against the foundations of his being and trickling away again. He just wanted to forget but his mine would not let him rest.

He was exhausted, he hadn't slept since he had left the soul society five days ago. He couldn't focus on any thing but the one thing he could never have. He couldn't let go. All the other captains had told him to give up but he couldn't, he wouldn't.

Jushiro was part of him, they'd been friends for so long it felt like some one had separated his soul from his body. He was lost with out him.

He could feel another memory threatening to sweep him off his feet. He could feel Jushiro's warm body resting against his. He could feel the shaky breath on his cheek and the tickle of long white hair. He could smell the intoxicating smell of sandalwood and herbs that made him feel so at home. It was biter sweet.

He forced him self to leave his makeshift reality and pay attention to the one he was force to exist in. He was incomplete a huge piece of his being missing like the last piece of a jigsaw.

The rain had stopped now and Shunsui found himself outside a small rickety looking second hand bookshop. Without thinking he pushed the door open and wandered inside.

It was crammed with book shelves piled high with books of all shapes, sizes and colours. It smelt musty but in a comforting way. He became acutely aware that he was dripping on the smooth dark wooden floor. He glanced embarrassedly around but couldn't see any sign of the storeowner.

"Can I help you," a soft voice asked politely?

Shunsui nearly jumped startled by the sudden appearance of humanity. He looked around and his heart nearly stopped.

The man looked about his age with long white hair pulled back into a tail at the nape of his neck and his hazel eyes sparkled with warmth.

"Your soaking," the man exclaimed, "stay there and I'll get you a towel."

The man vanished again leaving Shunsui in a state of shock. He looked just like Jushiro, he thought bitterly.

The man returned with a big fluffy white towel, "hear dry your self off you'll catch a chill if you stay like that."

"Thanks," Shunsui mumbled.

"What's your name," the book man asked?

"Kyoraku Shunsui," Shunsui told him glumly.

"I'm Ukitake Jushiro, pleased to meet you," the white haired man introduced.

Shunsui gaped in shock, "Juu," he whispered hoarsely?

Jushiro tilted his head to one side quizzically, "have we met before?"

Shunsui didn't know what to say, he felt like he was splitting in two, "yes he said eventually, yes we have met before."

Jushiro nodded, "I thought you seemed familiar."

A small glimmer of hope ignited in Shunsui's heart, maybe he did remember, even if it was only a little.

"Come on I've got some dry cloths in the back," Jushiro told him.

Shunsui followed him mutely barely comprehending the situation he was in. he dressed in silence and was given a cup of tea when he emerged from the bathroom.

"You must have brought most of the rain water in with you," Jushiro joked, "how long were you out there?"

Shunsui shrugged, "From when the rain started until it stopped."

Jushiro gaped, "That's along time to be out in the wet and cold," he said finally.

Shunsui nodded, "I suppose," he agreed.

Jushiro frowned scrutinising him, "I'm certain I know you from some where but I can't put my finger on it," he mused.

Shunsui shrugged again, "does the term soul society help," he offered?

Jushiro looked at him oddly for a moment but then his expression softened, "Yes, yes it helps," he murmured. "It makes me think of winter by the sea, the crashing waves and bright lightning. It makes me think of spring with dew damp grass and sweet smelling flowers but most of all it reminds me off summer evenings on gold coloured rooftops and the smell of honey and sake, a deep rumbling chuckle and a penchant for mischief.

Shunsui stared hoping against hope that he had finally found his best friend.

"Shunsui," Jushiro breathed, "that name is so familiar."

"We went to school together," Shunsui told him, "we were friends."

Jushiro nodded slowly, "I remember," he whispered. He glanced up and looked Shunsui in the eye, "I remember," he repeated more strongly.

"You do," Shunsui dared to hope?

Jushiro smiled softly, "You look a mess, old friend."

Shunsui broke into a smile, the first real smile he had cracked since his friends death over a month ago. He pulled the white haired man into his arms.

"I missed you," he whispered brokenly.

Jushiro nodded, "I'm so sorry."

"S'not your fault," the brown haired man mumbled. He could smell the familiar sent of sandalwood and herbs and realised that he was finally home.

Author's Note

So I've taken a small break from Kisuke x Yoruichi drama and written some Shunsui angst. At least it has a happy ending.

_You can take this however you want but I wrote them as a best friend relationship bordering on brotherhood._

_Hope you liked it. _ :P

_**thanks for reading silvermonkey.**_


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